barbara walters just said penis...
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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