Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
its liver damage thursday
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
