jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
