I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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