Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
My ass is underappreciated
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Couch. On fire.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
