just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
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