butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
