i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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