Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
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