My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Randomize
