ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
and she was petting her beer can
where does the pee come out of this thing
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Randomize
