Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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