I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
