i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
Randomize
