lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Btw, how did you break into my room, and why did you decide that covering the mushrooms with a blanket was more secure than a lock on my door?
Randomize
