i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
