its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
