Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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