To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Actions speak louder than pants.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
Randomize
