I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
