Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Randomize
