Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
