Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
