Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Randomize
