Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
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