you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
