Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
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