I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
He asked me what I wanted the cake to say and I then asked him if "I'm sorry for throwing up in your bed last night" was too long. He said it was...
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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