i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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