We should be called the Road Head Warriors
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I've spent my afternoon dipping strawberries in DayQuil if that's any indication of where I'm at in life.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
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