I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
We literaly had to peel your fingers off the jose cuervo bottle and lock it in someones room
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
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