i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I want to walk on stilts...naked
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
My dad and I just got asked if "we wanted a more intimate setting for our date". The world is coming to an end.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
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