i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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