I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
