She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize