If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
Randomize
