i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
Randomize
