i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
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