My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
I woke up under a house in Key West
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
