hotel room ftw
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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