you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
