She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
