I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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