Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
I am mentally ready for anal.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Randomize
