So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I need water and some morals
I don’t have the time, patience, or blood alcohol level to deal with her.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Randomize
