Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
True love is when you jack off and continue talking to the girl you like
Why do you text me weird shit like this?
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Randomize
