Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
