Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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