I love having hate sex.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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