Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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