Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
First order of business is dropping my 9 am gym class. I'm sweating pure vodka.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
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