He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
