Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
